My life experienced huge changes in it over summer. Changes that a lot of people would be/are shocked and pitiful about. I wallowed and was down a lot, but things are getting better now. I sometimes worry about how ‘much’ you should let negative events in your life affect you. I worry that I’m not as affected by negative events as much as I ‘should’ be. Is there are socially accepted set quota for how much grief and sadness a ‘normal’ person should feel and for how long they should feel it? Or, is it normal for you to leave the problems in the past and focus on bettering yourself for the future?
For now, I’m just focusing on making sure that I get to where I want to be. ‘You’ve got to look after #1 in this world’, because who else will? I don’t mean to sound self-centred, I still help people when I can and accept help when I need it, but the crux of it is that you have to focus and put the majority of your energy, time and emotions into making yourself happy. If we don’t aim for happiness and self-fulfilment then how can we help others to be happy and fulfilled. In my opinion (for now at least), ensuring you live as a good and happy person is the most important thing you can do.
This realisation that accomplishing happiness was what was important to me has really inspired me to put all of my effort into photographing and accomplishing what I want to do in the photographic field. Also, the fact I am at the time in my life of applying to University’s has really motivated me to pull my finger out, ‘man up’ (sorry for the misogynistic expression) and get out there and start making street photographs and ‘street portraits’ – and I’m happy to say that the pressure from looming Uni interviews has made me do that as it’s the best thing (photographically) that I have ever done.
That motivation came to me about last weekend, after only a few hours I had shot a whole roll of film -I haven’t shot that many photos in such a short space of time since first getting into making photographs about 8 months ago. I’ll update you with some of those photos by the end of the week hopefully. Let me tell you, I am excited to see these photographs, a few of them will probably be my favourite photographs that I have ever made – I’ll let you know.
Oh, and I guess my summer wasn’t the worst in history. I went to North Cyprus for two weeks, here are some of my favourite photographs from the trip.